allabout-theirony:

brainstatic:

Is something not about your dick? Make it about your dick! Don’t let her do anything without reminding her that you have a dick.

you’ll be on the receiving end of me pouring my piping hot tea on your dick

allabout-theirony:

brainstatic:

Is something not about your dick? Make it about your dick! Don’t let her do anything without reminding her that you have a dick.

you’ll be on the receiving end of me pouring my piping hot tea on your dick

jerkidiot:

THE DEED IS DONE

obsessedwithspn:

let’s face it - you’re either a dick person or a cock person, and it’s pretty unbearable to read a fanfic with the wrong expletive describing a penis

(Source: cashcutie)

spoken-not-written:

SINCE MY GRANDMA WORKS IN A CLINIC SUPPORTING PEOPLE WITH AIDS/HIV I ASKED HER TO GET ME SOME CONDOMS JUST CAUSE I DON’T HAVE ANY AND SHE FUCKING COMES BACK WITH A WHOLE BOX

image

thanks grandma

lady-wylfsbane:

themorbidmaiden:

whenever i see tripp pants i remember when i was in my senior year of high school. there was this sophmore girl who would sit the table me and some of my friends sat at during lunch period. she dated a guy who graduated before us but we knew him because he wore these pants almost every day.
one day she came to the table very upset, and when we asked her what was wrong, she said she broke up with her boyfriend because he lied all the time. he had been telling lies throughout their entire relationship. you wanna know what the lies were? he lied to her saying he was adopted, and he was a half-vampire demigod. she was crying
she was crying because her boyfriend lied to her about being an adopted half-vampire demigod
she believed

When I was in high school the guy I’m dating and living with now was a few years older than my friends and I and he had was a goth kid too but he’s very intelligent and charismatic and loved to mess with the crazy goth kids so he has them all believing he was a 3000 year old vampire lord who knew Jesus and he had a bet with him and now Jesus owes him 2 goats which is now like $500 and Jesus started Christianity and died to get out of the deal so he was waiting for the second coming to get his money from Jesus which is only going to increase with inflation and interest and all these 14-15 year olds actually believed him and that he had the powers and shit so he used it to start a ‘cult following’ and these kids would bring him food and buy him gifts and even when he told them to stop they wouldn’t leave him alone and it’s amazing what high school kids believe

lady-wylfsbane:

themorbidmaiden:

whenever i see tripp pants i remember when i was in my senior year of high school. there was this sophmore girl who would sit the table me and some of my friends sat at during lunch period. she dated a guy who graduated before us but we knew him because he wore these pants almost every day.

one day she came to the table very upset, and when we asked her what was wrong, she said she broke up with her boyfriend because he lied all the time. he had been telling lies throughout their entire relationship. you wanna know what the lies were? he lied to her saying he was adopted, and he was a half-vampire demigod. she was crying

she was crying because her boyfriend lied to her about being an adopted half-vampire demigod

she believed

When I was in high school the guy I’m dating and living with now was a few years older than my friends and I and he had was a goth kid too but he’s very intelligent and charismatic and loved to mess with the crazy goth kids so he has them all believing he was a 3000 year old vampire lord who knew Jesus and he had a bet with him and now Jesus owes him 2 goats which is now like $500 and Jesus started Christianity and died to get out of the deal so he was waiting for the second coming to get his money from Jesus which is only going to increase with inflation and interest and all these 14-15 year olds actually believed him and that he had the powers and shit so he used it to start a ‘cult following’ and these kids would bring him food and buy him gifts and even when he told them to stop they wouldn’t leave him alone and it’s amazing what high school kids believe

thefarfire:

thestrayline:

Clint told him to do it for the vine

based on this text post [x]

YES

everyworldneedslove:

I may always reblog every gifset/imageset I see of this scene, if only to point out (over and over and over again) that Black Widow’s “very specific skillset” is not, actually, ass-kicking (as amazing as she is at that), because all the Avengers can kick ass to a pretty high degree. The Black Widow’s superpower (as it were) is emotional manipulation.

She is not interrogating this man not while tied to a chair. She is tied to a chair because that is exactly where she wants to be, because apparent vulnerability on her part is part of her interrogation. She uses the exact same trick on Loki later, when she leads him into gloating over having successfully pushed her buttons (and I have a theory that he did actually push her buttons, that she was genuinely distressed by the things he said to her because Loki is old enough and smart enough to know when someone is lying to him) and turns his gloating around on him, uses it to dig into the cracks of him, because that is what she does, and she can do it even when her target is expecting it. (Really, Loki knows that’s why she’s there. He was expecting to be physically tortured first, and for her to come be sympathetic later, if you recall, but Loki and Widow both know that wouldn’t work.)

And this is why she’s so unsettled by the Hulk. The Black Widow relies on emotional manipulation — and the Hulk, to the best of her knowledge, only has varying shades of a single emotion: anger. She doesn’t know how to manipulate a creature if it doesn’t have all the hooks to emotions like pride and lust and guilt and greed that she’s used to using.

(Source: daily-mcu)

15-Year-Old African Kid Tells Madonna To Go ‘Have Sex’ with Herself

almightykushlord:

Dakarai Molokomme, a 15-year-old starving child from a small village in Zimbabwe, has just told , one of the most famous pop stars in the world, to  and f*** , the local media are reporting exclusively.

“Yes, it’s true, I told Madonna to go f*** herself. Do you want to know why?” Dakarai asked. “It’s the same thing every time with these snobby rich Americans. Every once in a while they come to show us their support for the so-called eradication of poverty by adopting a child from a starving family, but they actually do more harm than good. Transracial international adoptions are part of the white savior industrial complex,” Dakarai explained.

In further discussions with journalists from the media, the  stated that “none of the children here actually want to be taken away from their family and friends so they can be displayed as some kind of trophy in the homes of self-righteous singers or actors who want to score some points with the media and Oprah.”

“If they really want to help us, they should get Big Pharma to ship us some anti-retroviral drugs for the AIDS epidemic, or build schools and hospitals. If they don’t want to do that, then they can all go f** themselves!” the child told reporters.

The 15-year-old also stated that he would say the same thing to any one of those American or European “faux humanitarian posers”, except for Bono, whom he said he would also kick in the groin.

“Bono’s efforts to save the African savage from itself prove that the colonial imperative is alive and well,” Dakarai said as he walked with other village children collecting sticks to build a tree fort.

THIS IS THE RAWEST 15 YEAR OLD ALIVE

leading-blind-bats:

thedarklordsay10:

priestlyandtish:

drunkenspeecheson-sobriety:

reblogging again because it’s absolutely incredible

important as heck

can i put this on my refrigerator

I’m tapping this inside my locker and my room and looking at it everyday, this needs to be seen.

leading-blind-bats:

thedarklordsay10:

priestlyandtish:

drunkenspeecheson-sobriety:

reblogging again because it’s absolutely incredible

important as heck

can i put this on my refrigerator

I’m tapping this inside my locker and my room and looking at it everyday, this needs to be seen.

(Source: midnightcode)

shingekinokyojinheaven:

awwww-cute:

The face she gives me when she wants to get on the couch

let her on the damn couch you monster

shingekinokyojinheaven:

awwww-cute:

The face she gives me when she wants to get on the couch

let her on the damn couch you monster

alittleworldofimagination:

Ok but this is one of my favorite Disney endings because they decided to be happy together as frogs rather than try and find a way to be human and by finding that happiness they got to be humans again like that is rad as hell thank you Disney

(Source: subtubitles)

heathicorn:

apparently some guy named mark was trying to tell my mom he needed to speak with my dad about any financial transactions my mom was making because he was the man of the house and she did not take kindly to his implying that my dad was the primary breadwinner/person in charge in our family so

image

bird0fhermes:

I’m crying oh my fucking god

bird0fhermes:

I’m crying oh my fucking god

(Source: omg-humor)

lucyliuism:

g0thamsreckoning:

oh my gOD 

i hAVE BEEN LAUGHING AT THIS FOR 29834798234 YEARS

lucyliuism:

g0thamsreckoning:

oh my gOD 

i hAVE BEEN LAUGHING AT THIS FOR 29834798234 YEARS

(Source: timkarinn)